Hoops Are Not Always Earrings

This is a piece for a Pro Dunk Hoops Contest:

As I was growing up, a large part of my after-school recreation consisted of shooting hoops into my water-stabilized miniature basketball stand, which forever stood in my driveway. My mother would often watch, feigning interest in the sport, because she usually thought I was a pro at all my endeavors. Left to her own devices, I imagine that she probably would not have known the difference between basketball and basket weaving.

Fast-forward to the present, when March Madness causes the least sports-minded individuals to discuss ‘sweet-sixteens’ and ‘final-fours’. My mother, who is still not totally well versed on a variety of sports, will don her Gator pajamas and scream like a banshee when her chosen teams are at the precipice of a win. As a sports fanatic who has aspirations to become a successful sports agent, I pride myself on transforming as many individuals as possible into true couch potatoes. In this case, I believe I have created a monster.

Driving up to my front yard on my last trip home from college, I was amazed by the sight that I beheld. My mother, who is usually more concerned with manicures and makeup, was focused on the installation of a new basketball hoop. She was waiting impatiently, ball in hand, to practice her slam-dunk. There are no words emphatic enough to express my surprise. The more I think about it, though, if she practices enough on her ProDunk, maybe someday I’ll be her agent.